Wednesday, November 23, 2016

It's the Holiday Season, so don't be a ******!

Seriously though. I mean it.
Don’t be an GRINCH this holiday season. 

A good chunk of the world will be celebrating the holidays over the next 6 weeks. People all over the world will faced with navigating overcrowded malls, hanging outdoor lights in the freezing cold, and surviving visits from the in-laws. But don't be rude, don't be a cunt, most defiently don't be the Grinch. 
I know, I know you may be secretly wishing ill-will on all of those individuals who put a rush on the holiday festivals before the jack-o-lanterns were put away.  Like it or not the holiday season is upon us. There still may be hope for you  to regain that holiday spirit, find some joy and shed those holiday blues.
Here are a few tips to help you fight the cunt & Grinch inside and enjoy the best this holiday has to offer...
Believe Again– That’s right. Embrace your inner child. Close your eyes and think of the best holiday that you can imagine. Let the nostalgia set in and try to re-create that time. 

Smile– Smiling is my favorite! It certainly is contagious and while you may have lots of stress and to-dos,  make eye contact and smile at everyone you see…even that pesky co-worker or neighbor that you do not particularly like. 

Decorate a tree-It doesn’t take a lot of money to pull this one off. Even if you have to go cut down the ugliest Charlie Brown Christmas tree (preferably not from your neighbor’s yard), do so. String some popcorn, make some home-made ornaments, turn on some Christmas tunes, and rock around the Christmas tree. 

Visit Santa– Santa IS real to those who believe. Go put on your best tacky Christmas sweater and gather your friends and/or family members, take a seat on the jolly old elf’s lap and take advantage of a great photo op. (Be careful, you may have just found a new holiday tradition.) 

Resurrect those wacky family traditions– You found them to be normal as a kid but realized as you matured that they weren’t exactly “normal.” Buy/Make your family matching holiday attire (even if your family consists of your two cats/dogs/guinea pigs), play candy land, watch your favorite holiday movie, find the hidden pickle in the tree, or hang bagels on your tree (for the half Christian/half Jewish families). Whatever your family traditions may be, pick one and enjoy the memories it brings. 

Indulge in some sugary goodness– Tis the season for candy canes, hot cocoa, and fresh baked cookies. You may not have the metabolism of an 8 year old any longer but do yourself a favor, let out your waistband and enjoy the sweet yumminess.  When in doubt just add sugar and syrup!! 

Let your voice be heard– Go carolling or crank up the holiday music on your way home from work and SING at the top of your lungs! So what if people think you are nuts if you carol by yourself or you are caught at a red light doing your best Mariah Carey impression. Just remember the words of  Buddy the Elf, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” 

Get outside and enjoy the elements – Make snow angels or build a snowman. If you happen to live in the South where the temps vary between 20 degrees and a smoldering 80 degrees in December, put on your Santa hat along with your swim suit and do a cannon ball into the neighbor’s pool. 

Enjoy some libations– Put on your best dickie turtleneck a la Cousin Eddie and kick it old school with some homemade eggnog. If you are not into eggnog, make a new holiday beverage your bitch for the night! Cheers! 

Spread Goodwill– Do good deeds for others and you will surely feel the reward of spreading joy and hopefully gain some for yourself in the process. Pass along a compliment, carry someone’s goceries to their car, buy a stranger a cup of coffee or my favorite...donate to Toys for Tots!

Kidnap a Kid– Not literally, but this one is for those without children. Borrow a friend’s child for the day. Take them to see Santa, decorate cookies, make a gingerbread house, or go shop for their Mom and Dad’s presents. Just witnessing the excitement through the eyes of a child may help you set the mood for the season. 

Be Self-Indulgent– That’s right. You have already spread goodwill by doing a good deed for others. Now, go buy yourself a gift and open it on Christmas morning like a wild animal. Bring back an old favorite toy or those toe socks that Auntie Sue sent you every year until you were twenty! 

Try a few of these tips and let your inner-child shine this holiday season. And maybe, just maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more!

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