Monday, September 19, 2016

It's OK to have a meltdown!

This topic hit me last night because I realized how important it is to be able to have a moment. Things happen to us everyday, those who believe in a higher power are not exempt from facing situations that bring about sadness, anger, negativity etc... 
Meltdowns Happen.  It’s How You Deal That Counts.
Anytime you’re up to BIG things in your business and life, expect  some kind of a meltdown.
Think about it.
Getting out of your comfort zone and stretching into new areas means you’re going to be uncomfortable. And not just internally in terms of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. But externally in terms of systems, structures, and technology.
You’re doing things you’ve never done before.
Of course some shit’s gonna break!
Our minds would love us to believe that we’ve made some tragic error when we’re having a rough time or when things “appear” to fall apart. But the truth is, sometimes we need to meltdown in order to wake up. It’s the Universe saying, “You’ve outgrown your old life, sweetheart.  Time for an upgrade.”
Fire is symbolic of clearing and purification.  A little meltdown in your business creates fertile ground for fresh opportunities. And when the heat turns up, the only power you have is in how you deal.
Option A: Totally freak out.  Get paranoid.  Assume that everything and everyone is conspiring against you.  Scream and kick – especially at the people who love you.  Fire everyone.  Close shop and run away.
Option B: Stay engaged. Breathe. Laugh at how your life sometimes mirrors the Twilight Zone.
Feel all the wild, uncomfortable, crazy-ass sensations happening in your body.
Handle each issue as it arises, trusting that there is a greater intelligence at play that is serving your highest good and the highest good of those around you. Of course, I flirted with Option A for a hot minute last night. But thank sweet Jesus my ‘live in the moment’ training is strong enough to help me stay firmly planted in Option B.
Yes, I know.  In a perfect world we’d all experience massive growth without this inconvenient messiness. But when meltdowns happen, as they will, it’s how you deal that counts.
YOU Don’t Have to Have All The Answers.
Halle-freakin’ lujah for smart friends. For some of us, it can be really hard to ask for help because some silly part of our minds says that asking for help means we’re weak and incompetent. Especially if you’re an expert/consultant/coach or teacher type.
Last night I was on a team call, our leaders who were speaking helped me accomplish more in that hour what may have taken me months or years if left to my own devices. My husband, my coaches, my team, my students and my friends all have given me awesome insight and resources since I started my business.
While I’m damn good at what I do, I’m committed to surround myself with people who are genius in areas that, quite frankly, I suck at. It’s no failing when you find yourself in a vulnerable space to reach out to others for guidance, council and direction. In fact, I’d say leveraging other people’s experience and expertise is the number one (and fastest) way to get where you want to go.
Look For The Systems Failure vs. Blaming Yourself Or Your Team.
This is a biggie.  Anytime the shit hits the fan it’s natural to look around and want to point a finger at someone else. It can’t be you, right?  You’re a freaking genius. It must be “their” fault. 🙂 Or maybe you’re more of the masochistic type and point the blame finger at yourself. I’m such an idiot. I’m not smart enough to run a big business. Who am I kidding anyway? (<----this is 100% me!)
Of course, when you’re the head cheese of your business, the buck does stop with you. But whenever you find yourself in business meltdown land, it’s better to look for the system failure first rather than blaming yourself or your team. Because nobody wakes up in the morning and says, “I think I’ll go to work to fail today.” When a meltdown hits, here are a few questions to ask:
  • What system failed here?  What structure, if any, are we working within?  How have we collectively created a mess?
  • Is everyone on the team doing what they are best at? If not, how can we change that now?
  • How can we simplify, streamline and put better checks and balances in place?   How can we support each other to get where we want to go?

These types of questions help everyone stay solution focused and out of defensive-ville.
Looking for systems failures also creates a safe space for each person take personal responsibility for their part in the systems failing in the first place. Pretty cool, right?
So what about you?  Ever experience your own weird version of a meltdown + breakthrough?  Tips or strategies to share?  I’d love to hear.

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